Parents (dads in particular) should never say these ten harmful phrases to their sons.

By Severen Henderson for Department3C

Finding the right words to express yourself and support your son can be difficult as a parent. We all want the best for our sons and know that our words matter in helping them grow into successful young men. But sometimes, what we say can negatively impact their self-esteem or outlook on life.

What you say to your children has a lasting impact. You want to build them up and help them see value within themselves. This blog post will discuss ten harmful phrases (dads in particular) should avoid saying to their sons!

#1 "Boy's don't cry."

This phrase implies that any expression of emotion is wrong, especially for boys. It teaches them to repress their emotions and can lead to emotional suppression in adulthood. Allowing your son to express his emotions will help him process them and let him know it's okay to have feelings.

The encouragement to express emotions will make your son talk to you and trust you. The last thing you want to do is stifle emotions and make your son think it's wrong to cry. Everyone cries, whether in public or behind closed doors. Using this harmful phrase encourages your son not to share their feelings.

#2 "You're too sensitive."

This phrase implies that your son's emotions are wrong or unnecessary. It is important to remember that emotions, especially in children, should not be ignored. Instead of telling them, they're too sensitive, try discussing their feelings and helping them find healthy ways to express themselves.

You don't want to raise a young man that has feelings and emotions and doesn't know a healthy way to express them. Time is needed to learn how to deal with feelings and hormones constantly evolving, so the phrase that a boy is "too sensitive" can be highly damaging to long-term mental wellness.

#3 "You'll never amount to anything if you don't..."

This phrase damages your son's self-esteem and implies they cannot achieve anything. Instead, it's better to express belief in their abilities by saying: "You can achieve great things if you put your mind to it." Encourage hard work, training, and preparation. The lesson of learning from mistakes is a powerful tool that should be taught.

When a phrase that is so negative is used towards boys, it places them in a constant place of believing what they do isn't good enough.

Practice positive talk, affirmations, and conversations that promote a positive self-image.

#4 "Be a man!" or "Man up!"

This phrase can be damaging because it implies that there is only one way to act and think as a "man." The phrase implies that your son needs to be more stoic and emotionless. It also implies that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, which is untrue. It puts pressure on your son to fit into society's gender norms. Instead, encourage him to be himself and show his emotions without fear of judgment.

There is more to being a man than just conforming to societal norms of masculinity or putting on a false front. Being instinctually aware of the right thing to do and having the courage to see it through separates good men from great ones.

A lesson for you and your son is that treating yourself and others with decency through honesty, empathy, and respect are key components in becoming a better man and living a fulfilled life.

Show him these qualities are more important than trying to fit into a specific gender role.

#5 "That's too hard for you."

Telling your son something is too hard for them implies that they cannot handle it and should give up without even trying. This phrase can lead to a defeatist attitude and can decrease their self-confidence.

Instead, encourage them not to give up too quickly. Try telling them: "That might be hard, but I know you have the strength and determination to figure it out." If they try something and fail, show them that failure is not necessarily bad but something they can learn from.

The phrase can lead to frustration and powerlessness since it implies that the person has some control over the situation when they may not. Instead, focus on what steps you can take together to help them achieve their goals.

#6 "That's too girly for you."

This phrase implies that certain interests are reserved for either men or women when everyone should feel free to express themselves however they wish, regardless of gender. The goal is for your son to develop interests based on what he finds enjoyable or stimulating, not what others deem masculine or feminine.

Not only is it an insult to boys when you tell them something is "for girls," but it's also a jab at women. Boys should be raised knowing there are no activity or interest limitations based on gender norms. After all, both sexes can do a vast array of things.

#7 "You'll understand when you're older."

This phrase implies that your son isn't mature enough to handle the situation, which can make him feel helpless and frustrated. It is better to explain the issue in a way that he will understand rather than tell him he won't understand until later.

Refrain from confusing inappropriate conversations with a young person with their ability to understand or not being mature enough to comprehend. When a child comes to you with a question, they want to understand fully. Take the time to explain in a way that is age appropriate and allow them questions to clarify any confusion.

These conversations will make your son feel respected and appreciated and build trust between you.

#8 "I'm so disappointed in you."

These words can have a lasting impact on your son's self-esteem. Instead of saying this, try expressing your disappointment in specific behaviors, so your son can understand the consequences of his actions.

Explain why you feel the way you do and talk about ways to improve in the future.

The best way to help your son learn from his mistakes is by offering solutions so he can make better decisions in the future. Focus on how your son can grow from it instead of focusing on what was done wrong.

#9 "You're not good enough."

Telling your son, he's not good enough is one of the worst things you can do as a parent. It sends the message that he must constantly strive for perfection and will never be happy. It can cause him to doubt himself and forgo trying new things.

Instead of telling him, he's not good enough, tell him that you believe in him and his ability to do anything he sets his mind to. Show your son how to build his self-confidence through hard work and persistence.

#10 "Boys will be boys."

This phrase implies that boys should be allowed to behave however they want without consequence. It reinforces the idea that it's okay for boys to act aggressively, recklessly, and with disregard for others.

Instead of accepting bad behavior as "normal," show your son the importance of accountability and respect for himself and others. Let him know that everyone, regardless of gender, should be held to the same standards.

When it comes to parenting, choosing your words wisely is essential for the growth and development of your son. Avoiding these ten harmful phrases is an excellent start in helping your son build self-esteem and develop into a confident, independent young man.

Though there will be moments when you don't know what to say or express yourself, remember that being a good listener can also go a long way in helping your son grow!

Severen Henderson is the Owner/Operator of Department3C. You can connect with him on most social media sites: @iamsevy Or for business-related topics: @deaprtment3c. We want to keep in contact! So please head to our website www.department3c.com to see what we are up to! For e-mail inquiries, contact us at info@department3c.com.

 

Authenticity and You. How being your authentic self is always the best option. 

By Severen Henderson for Department3C

When it comes to being successful, it's always best to be yourself. Many try to be someone they're not to fit in or seem more impressive, but this almost always backfires. People can see right through falseness, and they will respect you more if you are genuine. Being authentic allows you to connect with others deeper and makes you happier because you aren't pretending to be someone you're not. Today's blog post discusses the power of authenticity and why it is so important in personal and professional relationships!

I'm an open book on my blog and social media. I try to be as authentic as possible because I feel it's important to represent myself accurately. If something makes me happy, I want to share that with people in the hopes that they can find joy in similar things too. On the flip side, if life isn't going well, I'll write about that too. Maybe someone out there is experiencing something similar, and reading about how I handle it will help them feel better or give them some ideas.

I don't mind sharing because of a few reasons.

I document and keep track of things going on to understand myself better. For example, if I am feeling extremely happy or sad, I will look back at what was happening around that time to see if there is a correlation. Was the weather nice? Did I visit with friends or family? Anything could be a reason for joy. The same goes for when I'm feeling down. What could have been the issue? What problem was going on that couldn't be solved that made me feel so down?

Social media is a lot like keeping a diary; for some people, their statuses are equivalent to documenting their life. Sometimes this is how I use it. I don't mind others knowing how I feel. I guess this would make me a heart-on-my-sleeve type of person. And again, I'm ok with that due to authenticity.

For some, social media is how they get to know other people, and sometimes they make real connections with someone. People have met one another through social media before, then went on to meet in person and connect that way. Used the right way, social media is a great tool that keeps friends, potential friends, and family connected globally.

I also don't mind sharing because being authentic allows me to connect more with people. It's difficult to form genuine relationships when you're not honest about who you are or what's going on in your life. People can tell when you're fake, which does not leave a good impression.

No one has a perfect life--we all have our struggles. But how you face these difficult times speaks volumes about your character. A positive attitude goes a long way in dealing with negative situations and affecting the outcome of those woes.

When interacting with someone, whether online or in person, I try to be as honest and down-to-earth as possible. That way, they can get an accurate sense of who I am and understand that my intentions are pure. This goes for both personal and business relationships. Being genuine with everyone you meet is essential because it can open up new opportunities, which is especially helpful if you're job hunting or starting a business.

Some individuals hesitate to share certain aspects of their life with others for fear that it will reflect poorly on them, which is entirely understandable. However, this mindset is different from the one I agree with. While there is such a thing as oversharing, and we all have heard of the acronym TMI (too much information). Everyone can benefit from being more authentic because it expresses who you are. It shouldn't make you vulnerable or a target but rather attractive when you dwell in your honesty.

"When keeping it real goes wrong" is a popular idiom for when someone's honesty backfires. Many people have heard stories of co-workers getting in trouble for things they post on social media, and sometimes those individuals deserve to be punished. Unfortunately, many people need to understand the difference between freedom of speech and saying things that are inappropriate and unprofessional. Just because it comes to your mind doesn't mean it needs to be said or posted.

When someone is presenting negative talk or hater statements towards another person, it's not necessary in most cases. Too often, people treat disagreements with hate speech. That being said, feel free to voice your opinions but don't let it become a personal attack.

We all have our differences, and that's what makes us unique. It also helps to build relationships between people from different backgrounds, cultures, and walks of life. It can be difficult sometimes to be yourself in specific environments, but in the end, it's always better to be authentic. It takes courage, but it pays off in the long run! After all, being true to yourself is the best option. So stay positive and keep it real! But not too real! I'll make this the last frequently used or cliche phrase for this blog post... "Keep everything in moderation, even moderation."

To be true to yourself is, to be honest. It takes strength and courage, but in the long run, it's worth it. Being genuine with those around you will lead to better friendships and more successful business relationships. And don't forget that being authentic can also help others who may be going through similar situations. Authenticity has immense power and can help you go far in life. You don't have to pretend to be someone else--just be yourself and showcase all your strengths and weaknesses. People will respect you more for being honest.

Severen Henderson is the Owner/Operator of Department3C. You can connect with him on most social media sites: @iamsevy Or for business-related topics: @deaprtment3c. We want to keep in contact! So please head to our website www.department3c.com to see what we are up to! For e-mail inquiries, contact us at info@department3c.com.

 

How the Apple Watch Saved My Mother's Life. The Power of Community, Technology, and Service Combined.

I would have never guessed that I'd be writing a blog post about how the Apple Watch saved my mother's life, but it did. A few weeks ago, she was coming into her house while carrying groceries and took a nasty fall. Fortunately, she only sustained moderate injuries, but because of the fall detection technology in her Apple Watch, 911 was alerted as soon as it detected the fall. If not for this lifesaving feature, paramedics might not have arrived in time, and she could have died from her injuries.

This story is quite interesting. Here's how it goes.

For context, I live far away from my mother, who fell recently. The fall detection feature on her Apple Watch alerted me, and I contacted 911 for help. Even though falls are commonplace among older adults, this particular incident brought back difficult memories of when I lost my father to a similar injury. Luckily, *SPOILER ALERT*, my mom was okay in the end.

I was driving and running errands like normal when my phone suddenly started going crazy with alerts. I had a text message from an unknown number, followed by a call from the same number. Since I was driving, I didn't answer either right away.

Then my phone rang again, and it was my uncle, who lives close to my mother. He told me that she had just taken a bad fall, that the paramedics were at her home, and that she was in the ambulance that had arrived. Knowing how serious falls can be for older people, I was incredibly relieved to hear that help was already there.

Around the time when I first moved from my hometown to where I live now, my father had a couple of falls where he hit his head.

The first time he fell, no one knew. He kept the fall to himself. I called him that night, and he didn't sound like his usual self. I think he knew it was me that he was talking to, but he kept repeating the exact phrase. He kept saying, "yeah, okay," and "yeah, I know." The conversation was odd, and I knew something wasn't right. I called my stepmother and let he know my concerns, and they took him to the hospital because he wasn't acting normal to them either.

At the hospital, doctors discovered he had a brain bleed. They operated on him, and he seemed to be getting better. However, he fell again after being released from the hospital, and this second fall was more severe. He was then life-flighted to the nearest trauma center, where they found that he had no viable brain activity. I decided to remove him from life support at this point, and surrounded by family members; he passed away soon afterward.

This event again brought back the trauma and fear I experienced when my father passed away. I'm still not prepared for an event of this caliber. When something happens to a loved one far away, it isn't easy to feel helpful or supportive.

But now, back to the situation at hand. Being on my mother's emergency contact list, my uncle also got the message about the fall. He made it to my mom's house so quickly that he met the paramedics there and could give me the entire breakdown before I had even seen the text message sent by the Apple Watch!

Now that my attention was entirely on the incident, I checked all the text messages and calls. The order of events went something like this.

The first text message came from the Apple Watch, telling me that it had detected my mother's fall and was contacting 911. The phone call came from one of the firefighters who responded to my mother's house. He saw fire department decorations around her house and asked if she had any family in the department. My mom told him about me, and he gave me a call.

As we know, First Responders provide an incredible, life-saving service to communities all over the world. Thanks to their dedication and commitment, we can count on them for help in times of danger or distress. Their heroic acts are held up as examples of courage and selflessness – proof that our shared humanity is worth celebrating today more than ever! 

The facts combined that I’m a First Responder who operates within the global First Responder community and the technology of social media, we happened to know each other. One of the Firefighters who responded called me through Facebook Messenger. I didn't answer that call, but he also left me a message on Facebook Messenger.

The next call was from my uncle, who was already on the scene. He quickly told me about the situation and that once he got to her house, she had already been loaded into the ambulance and taken away.

I called my mom, who answered the phone and told me what had happened. She didn't sound the best, but who would after her fall? But she told me she thought she would be okay and was shaken up and more embarrassed than physically hurt.

Growing up in a close-knit neighborhood was like having an extended family; we always looked out for each other. This became abundantly clear with this emergency: not only did my relatives and firefighters come to the rescue, but members of "The Hood" also showed their support with  calls and messages that quickly flooded in! It left me truly humbled by how powerful our community ties can be.

It was refreshing and made me feel good that I had so many people looking out for my mother. Even after the incident, I still received calls and messages from people making sure she was okay.

After my mother's fall, she was discharged from the hospital after being evaluated. Although she had a large bump on her forehead and "raccoon eyes," black eyes from bruising, she assured me I didn't need to come to take care of her right away. She got into a fight with the stairs in her house...and the stairs won.

The Apple Watch did another cool thing. The watch gave me her exact location at every stop she made in her evaluation. The hospital's address and coordinates, and when she was en route back home. That's a cool feature to keep the emergency contacts updated.

While I understand the arguments against electronic surveillance, it doesn't worry me too much. If you're doing things right, there's less need for excessive privacy. Some might see this as an easy way out, but keeping track of fabricated stories and details is more complicated. With honesty comes simplicity.

This alarmingly eye-opening ordeal has made me realize the tremendous potential of technological advances. The Apple Watch presents a powerful tool that can significantly improve the quality and security of someone's life, such as my mother, who could have been stuck helplessly on the floor without timely help arriving after her fall. It is no longer just an accessory: smartwatches are now becoming lifesavers.

Between the technology, the service of First Responders, and the sense of community that my hometown neighborhood showed, I am truly thankful.

It's reassuring to know that if anything ever happens to my mother, I can rest assured that the Apple Watch will be there to alert someone. A luxury my father didn't have for his falls. For that reason, I am forever grateful for the lifesaving potential of this amazing device.

Severen Henderson is the Owner/Operator of Department3C. You can connect with him on most social media sites: @iamsevy Or for business-related topics: @deaprtment3c. We want to keep in contact! So please head to our website www.department3c.com to see what we are up to! For e-mail inquiries, contact us at info@department3c.com.

The Importance of a Healthy Body, Mind, and Wallet. How the focus on health & fitness, finances, and self-help will pay extreme dividends in the long run.

The Importance of a Healthy Body, Mind, and Wallet.

How the focus on health & fitness, finances, and self-help will pay extreme dividends in the long run.

A Blog By Severen Henderson for Department3C

Maintaining a healthy body, mind, and bank balance are three of the most essential things in life. Without good health, you can't appreciate your wealth. And if your mental state isn't balanced, it won't matter how much money you saved. Consequently, I make sure to focus on these three areas every day.

In this blog I will explain why I focus on health & fitness, finances, and self-help. The reason isn't just for me but to leave a legacy for my kids and family. Even if you're a person who doesn't have kids or you don't have a large family, you still need to approach each day with a plan.

Health is the first priority because without it nothing else matters. A sound body leads to a sound mind which then allows you to make sound financial decisions. Self-help is important because it keeps you focused on your goals and improving yourself.

I used to not care about any of this stuff. I was young and thought I had all the time in the world. Then I realized that time is the most precious commodity

When we are young, most people don't feel that they need to focus on their health because they are at the point in their life where they feel invincible. But we all know the truth, and no one is invincible. We often see or hear news reports of a young person being injured or, unfortunately, killed at a young age.

There are a few points I'd like you, the reader, to get from this blog. But If you don't get anything else, please get this! Everyone needs to take care of their bodies, regardless of their age.

You only get one body. So why wouldn't you take care of it the best you can?

We decorate our bodies with clothes and artwork in the form of tattoos. That's the outside decoration. But what about the inside decoration of your body regarding health, fitness, and diet?

As long as there is no physical ailment or limitation that a person is born with, health and wellness in the form of diet and exercise should become part of a person's routine.

Many people think they can't afford to be healthy because organic food or going to the gym is too expensive. But being unhealthy will cost you more in the long run when you factor in medical bills and missed work days.

The benefits of a healthy body are numerous. But here are just a few:

- A healthy body leads to a clear mind.

- Reduces stress and anxiety levels.

- Improves focus and concentration.

- Gives you more energy throughout the day.

- Helps you sleep better at night.

- Reduces the risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes.

One of my favorite benefits of a healthy lifestyle is the benefit of lower life insurance costs. Life insurance is a wealth-building vehicle that leads into my next area of focus. Finances.

It is reported that 70% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. That means that they have no savings and are one emergency away from being in debt.

If you're not making much money now doesn't mean you shouldn't start saving. The sooner you start saving and investing, the better off you'll be in the long run.

There's that old saying that goes. "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

That means we are always waiting for the right time to do the right thing. Of course, you must prepare and plan, but you have to take action at some point.

I'm not telling you to quit your job and become a day trader. I am saying that you should have a plan and focus on building wealth for yourself and your family.

Some key points on finances:

- Invest in yourself by taking courses and reading books on financial literacy.

- Make a budget and stick to it! Know where every dollar is going.

- Have an emergency fund of at least three to six months of living expenses.

- Invest money wisely, whether in stocks, real estate, or mutual funds.

- Live below your means so you can save and invest.

Sure there are so many more ways to go about investing for the future and educating yourself on these topics. The point here is to start learning and applying the knowledge you gain!

A misconception is that taking care of just yourself, or that spending time in the gym to look good is vain, or selfish. That couldn't be further from the truth!

It's not selfish to want to be healthy and fit. It's not selfish to want to have a handle on your finances. In fact, I would argue that it's one of the most selfless things you can do. When you're healthy and fit, you're able to be there for your loved ones. When you have a handle on your finances, you're also able to be there for your loved ones in more ways than one.

So often, we approach our health and fitness from a purely physical standpoint. We think about how we look and feel in our clothes. And while that's important, it's not the only thing that matters. Our mental and emotional health are just as important if not more.

The last focus I have is on self-help. Self-help is a process of improving yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When people think of self-help, they often think of going to therapy or reading a book. And while those are both great ways to help improve yourself, you can do many other things for self-improvement.

Some things you can do for self-improvement are:

- Get rid of negative influences in your life, whether toxic friends, family members, or co-workers.

- Set boundaries with people. This will protect your time and energy.

- Get rid of clutter in your physical space and declutter your digital space.

- Set goals for yourself and make a plan to achieve them.

- Practice self-care, whether that's getting a massage, going for a run, or taking a relaxing bath.

- Be patient with yourself. Self-improvement is a lifelong journey, not a destination. You don't arrive at a place we'll call "Self-Improvement Valley." Then just set up a home and live there. It is a constant and ongoing process of overall wellness.

Self-improvement is so vital because it leads to a better life overall. When you focus on improving yourself, you automatically improve your relationships, career, and health. It's a domino effect that starts with you!

There you have it! I believe that a person should focus on three aspects of life that are crucial for everyone: health and fitness, sound financial management, and self-help. These are things about which I am enthusiastic, and I hope you will be too! Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Did this blog post resonate with you? What are some other areas of focus that you believe are important? Let me know in the comments. And as always, you can reach us at the contact information provided.